Some Mawmaw-isms for you:
I hope no one in the whole world EVER has toe pain like this. It's horrible and I don't think anyone else could take it.
The horrible pain that no one else in the world could possibly stand is a corn. They've shaved it down and given her some little pads to wear next to that toe to shield it. They also told her to stop buying shoes that are TOO NARROW because that crowds the toes together, but she just won't accept that she needs a 'wide' shoe, so she won't go buy new ones. I bought her new ones for Christmas. She refuses to wear them.
My little guy is coughing. He's the one dealing with pertussis right now. (Side note: pretty sure hubby has it, too. Yay.) Her diagnosis? "He's got that summer virus that's going around."
No, I do not know what a summer virus is, why it would cause a cough or why you'd have it in the middle of January.
Took her to the store with me this morning. She heads straight for the clothes. I go in after her and tell her NOT to buy any clothes. You just spend $80 ordering pants. You can not afford to buy any more clothes plus you have no where to put them.
"I wasn't going to buy anything, I was just looking at the colors."
Any one else see that pig flying by???
Oh - the pants. She ordered her 'favorite pants in the whole wide world.' She had the money, it's hers to spend. She ordered 10, yes, 10, pair of pants. Elastic waist polyester pants, one of every color they offered, which were what we shall nicely term old lady colors: lavender, neon green, yellow and of course her beloved PINK.
I don't even know what to say about that anymore! lol
Oh - did I ever tell you how she says women should NEVER, EVER wear cotton underwear?
No?
Well, that's what she says.
Want to know why?
They'll cause your belly button to get infected.
Yeah, feel free to figure it out yourself, I'm not even trying!
Showing posts with label mawmaw-ism. Show all posts
Showing posts with label mawmaw-ism. Show all posts
Monday, January 23, 2012
Monday, October 31, 2011
AAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!
There, I feel better already.
Today is a Mawmaw is driving me insane day.
Anytime I do anything she'd never consider doing (which is pretty much ANYTHING) I get to hear a completely made up cautionary story trying to talk me out of it. Most of the time they are spread out enough I don't want to scream, but these have all been in the last three days:
She can't believe I mow our yard. She knows someone who cut their foot open with a push mower like that. Her other version of this is that she knew someone who killed someone else by a rock coming out of the mower and hitting them in the head. Never mind the fact that we never have anyone outside when we mow..she still tells the story. If you ask who it was she either says she can't remember their name or she stammers and hem haws and then makes one up on the spot. Tell her it's a different one from the last time she told that story and watch her get mad.
She can't believe I use a weed eater. She knows someone who cut their ankle open using one.
She can't believe we keep gas in a gas can. She knew someone who kept some in their garage and it blew up.
She can't believe I use a pressure canner. She knew someone who was using one and it blew up.
She can't believe I ferment cabbage to make sauerkraut. She knew someone who did and it blew up.
(see a theme here?)
She can't believe I rewire electrical switches, she knew someone who did and electrocuted themselves.
She can't believe I cut up meat, she knew someone who cut their finger off.
About two minutes ago she was staring at me while I'm working on the baby blankets and told me she can't believe I use a sewing machine, she knew someone who sewed right through their finger!
I think she 'knew' a lot of accident prone idiots, huh?!?!?!
Today is a Mawmaw is driving me insane day.
Anytime I do anything she'd never consider doing (which is pretty much ANYTHING) I get to hear a completely made up cautionary story trying to talk me out of it. Most of the time they are spread out enough I don't want to scream, but these have all been in the last three days:
She can't believe I mow our yard. She knows someone who cut their foot open with a push mower like that. Her other version of this is that she knew someone who killed someone else by a rock coming out of the mower and hitting them in the head. Never mind the fact that we never have anyone outside when we mow..she still tells the story. If you ask who it was she either says she can't remember their name or she stammers and hem haws and then makes one up on the spot. Tell her it's a different one from the last time she told that story and watch her get mad.
She can't believe I use a weed eater. She knows someone who cut their ankle open using one.
She can't believe we keep gas in a gas can. She knew someone who kept some in their garage and it blew up.
She can't believe I use a pressure canner. She knew someone who was using one and it blew up.
She can't believe I ferment cabbage to make sauerkraut. She knew someone who did and it blew up.
(see a theme here?)
She can't believe I rewire electrical switches, she knew someone who did and electrocuted themselves.
She can't believe I cut up meat, she knew someone who cut their finger off.
About two minutes ago she was staring at me while I'm working on the baby blankets and told me she can't believe I use a sewing machine, she knew someone who sewed right through their finger!
I think she 'knew' a lot of accident prone idiots, huh?!?!?!
Monday, September 19, 2011
Mawmaw-ism for today
It's a wonderful day today. We got some needed rain and it's cool with a light breeze.
Mawmaw asked me if it was cold outside. I told her no, it was nice, but if she was going out to walk around, she'd probably want a light jacket as she gets cold easier than I do.
Her response:
Oh, I love days like this. I don't like it when it's too hot. I don't like it when it's too cold, either. I like it when it's just perfect. I think if everyone felt like I do, it would be a much better world we live in.
So.
There you go.
She just solved the whole not getting along with others issue right there, it's all weather preference related, apparently.
lol
Mawmaw asked me if it was cold outside. I told her no, it was nice, but if she was going out to walk around, she'd probably want a light jacket as she gets cold easier than I do.
Her response:
Oh, I love days like this. I don't like it when it's too hot. I don't like it when it's too cold, either. I like it when it's just perfect. I think if everyone felt like I do, it would be a much better world we live in.
So.
There you go.
She just solved the whole not getting along with others issue right there, it's all weather preference related, apparently.
lol
Saturday, September 17, 2011
Mawmaw-ism
If I haven't made it clear, we love Mawmaw, but there are times where you cannot help but laugh at things that happen sometimes.
Deer season is coming. Hubby bow hunts. It's an old bow, but it's served him well and it works and he's good with it, so I'm all for it. Fills up the freezer. :) He and a few buddies have been practicing in the backyard after work a few evenings per week, getting ready.
On to my story:
Oldest child has been sick and was home from school. I hear Mawmaw call him over to the back door by the kitchen.
She wants to know "What's that thing out there? Is it an animal?"
Child says: Yes, it's a deer target.
Mawmaw: A deer target?
Child: Yes, they shoot their bows at it to practice.
Mawmaw: Why doesn't it move when they shoot at it??!?!!!?????
Deer season is coming. Hubby bow hunts. It's an old bow, but it's served him well and it works and he's good with it, so I'm all for it. Fills up the freezer. :) He and a few buddies have been practicing in the backyard after work a few evenings per week, getting ready.
On to my story:
Oldest child has been sick and was home from school. I hear Mawmaw call him over to the back door by the kitchen.
She wants to know "What's that thing out there? Is it an animal?"
Child says: Yes, it's a deer target.
Mawmaw: A deer target?
Child: Yes, they shoot their bows at it to practice.
Mawmaw: Why doesn't it move when they shoot at it??!?!!!?????
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